Modeling Humour

[SteveH]

saw this one recently



Steve H

[digger303]

[digger303]

[Fridgy]

Found on Facebook

[Novasquad23]

Fridgy,
What a SILLY panzer! Fancy not buying models until you finish the ones you're working on. Pure heresy. No wonder its at the bottom of the lake.

[digger303]

Found on Facebook

I feel that shot in the dark was aimed ....

[digger303]

[Novasquad23]

I had no idea how to respond

[digger303]

[Novasquad23]

Where did you find modeller mike?

[digger303]

Model art magazine

[Lee]

[digger303]

yep

[digger303]

The wife filter

[digger303]

[digger303]

[Twokidsnosleep]

Oh I like that one

[digger303]

[chops1sc]

This is pretty accurate!

[Twokidsnosleep]

Hilariously Dead on accurate
Nicely done. I miss Mel Brooks Movies

[chops1sc]

Indeed! Spaceballs is one of my all time favorites!

“What’s the matter Colonel Sanders? Chickennnn??”

[Twokidsnosleep]

Indeed! Spaceballs is one of my all time favorites!

“What’s the matter Colonel Sanders? Chickennnn??”

[digger303]

You know who you are !

[digger303]

Someone is upset with the neighbor

[Twokidsnosleep]

That’s cool

[GMahaffey]

Someone is upset with the neighbor

Built to shoot small pebbles at the neighbors.

[digger303]

[digger303]

This is funny

https://www.facebook.com/funnyrooscomed ... 36448/?t=8

[digger303]

Royal Australian Infantry Rules For Gunfights

Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.
Have a plan.
Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
Do not attend a gunfight with a weapon whose magazine capacity does not consist of three numerals, the first of which should be 1 or higher.
Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend.
Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
In ten years, nobody will remember the calibre, stance, or tactics. They will remember who lived.
If you are not shooting, you should be communicating.

Royal Australian Navy Rules For Gunfights

Go to sea.
Drink coffee.
Watch porn.
Send the infantry.

Royal Australian Air Force Rules For Gunfights

Have a cocktail.
Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
See what's on pay TV.
Determine "what is a gunfight."
Request more funding from Government with a "killer" Power Point presentation.
Wine & dine 'key' Parliamentarians, invite DoD & defence industry executives.
Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.
Tell the Navy to send the infantry.

[digger303]

ARMY FOOD

An English soldier, an American soldier and a Russian soldier found themselves sharing a tent while on a military exercise and the conversation turned towards how well fed each of them was.

"In the Russian Army we have 2000 calories of food a day," said the Russian. "Well," said the Englishman, "In the British Army we are given 4000 calories of food a day." "That's nothing," said the American, "in the US Army we have 8000 calories of food a day". At this the Russian got very annoyed. "Nonsense," he said, "how could one man eat so much cabbage?"

[digger303]

BATTLE CRY !!

A British General is addressing a company of Australian troops just before a battle during WWI, trying to rouse their fighting spirit. "Did you come here to die?" he yells. From the back a laconic Aussie voice calls back: "No mate, we came here yester-die." Much laughter. But the general persists, finishing with a rousing cry, "Onward to victory!" The battle commences. Half an hour later, an urgent message reaches him. It reads: "We've advanced as far as we can, but can't find Victory. It isn't on any of our maps. Need further instructions."

[Tomcat64]

Not specifically kit-related but probably one for the stash builders...

[digger303]

Widening the parameters to include anything funny.

WHO'S THE IDIOT

As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out."

As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention.

The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow. The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh, sir?"

[digger303]

[GMahaffey]

Legend has it that she died not too long after that.

[digger303]

Legend has it that she died not too long after that.

[GMahaffey]

Run away! Run away!

[digger303]

Murphy's Laws of Combat Operation

Friendly fire - isn't.

Recoilless rifles - aren't.

Suppressive fires - won't.

If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.

Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.

Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire.

Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.

If at first you don't succeed, call in an airstrike.

If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short.

All 5 second grenade fuses burn down in 3 seconds.

Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.

Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack.

The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: when they're ready & when you're not.

No PLAN ever survives initial contact.

A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.

The easy way is always mined.

Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

Tracers work both ways.

Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.

If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.

When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.

Incoming fire has the right of way.

No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.

No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.

If the enemy is within range, so are you.

The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right. Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.

Military Intelligence is a contradiction.

Fortify your front and you'll get your rear shot up.

The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.

If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you may have misjudged the situation.

The one item you need is always in short supply.

Interchangeable parts aren't.

Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't.

Things that must work together can't be carried to the field that way.

Whenever you lose contact with the enemy, look behind you.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.

If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.

There is nothing more satisfying than having someone take a shot at you - and miss.

If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.

You'll only remember your hand grenades when the enemy is too close to use them.

How come you are on one frequency when everyone else is on another?

The ammo you need "NOW"!! is on the "Next" airdrop!!

If your ambush is properly set the enemy won't walk into it.

The degree to which you overreact to information will be in inverse proportion to its accuracy.

If you receive two contradictory orders, obey them both.

If all else fails hide.

So he said, "Cheer up: it could be worse!" So we cheered up. And it got worse.

There is no limit to how bad things can get.

[digger303]

Looking After the LOVED ONE.

[digger303]

[alextheblue]

Murphy's Laws of Combat Operation

Friendly fire - isn't.

Recoilless rifles - aren't.

Suppressive fires - won't.

If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.

Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.

Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire.

Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.

If at first you don't succeed, call in an airstrike.

If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short.

All 5 second grenade fuses burn down in 3 seconds.

Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.

Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack.

The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: when they're ready & when you're not.

No PLAN ever survives initial contact.

A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.

The easy way is always mined.

Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

Tracers work both ways.

Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.

If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.

When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.

Incoming fire has the right of way.

No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.

No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.

If the enemy is within range, so are you.

The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right. Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.

Military Intelligence is a contradiction.

Fortify your front and you'll get your rear shot up.

The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.

If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you may have misjudged the situation.

The one item you need is always in short supply.

Interchangeable parts aren't.

Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't.

Things that must work together can't be carried to the field that way.

Whenever you lose contact with the enemy, look behind you.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.

If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.

There is nothing more satisfying than having someone take a shot at you - and miss.

If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.

You'll only remember your hand grenades when the enemy is too close to use them.

How come you are on one frequency when everyone else is on another?

The ammo you need "NOW"!! is on the "Next" airdrop!!

If your ambush is properly set the enemy won't walk into it.

The degree to which you overreact to information will be in inverse proportion to its accuracy.

If you receive two contradictory orders, obey them both.

If all else fails hide.

So he said, "Cheer up: it could be worse!" So we cheered up. And it got worse.

There is no limit to how bad things can get.

Hahahahahaha!!! Like it.

One of my favourite motivational sayings.

If you think you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's probably just the express train hurtling towards you at 120mph!!!

[Tomcat64]

[Twokidsnosleep]

Oh THAT is SOooooooo me

[jmurphy18]

I always loved those! I had two posters of those on my office walls and when contractors had an excuse I would point to one of the rule. They hated me for that. BTW my last name is "Murphy" & Yes I do know the history of Murphy's law. My dad gave me the book

[heyMika]

[digger303]

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[MarkSzeman]

That number 10 man , the greatest bane of modeling and OCD doesn't help either !!

[digger303]